This is the pain speaking when I say that I hate you.
Or how about the fact that I helped create you.
Living that "good life" that people seem to envy..
Well that's the same life that just might end me.
I showed you love, even the kind your family never gave.
I was ready to vow to honor your last name.
Deep down I know things will never be the same.
And if these are hurtful words, blame it on the pain.
I feel like poppin pills, I feel like drinking too.
I hope all the wounds heal, someday I know they're supposed to.
This hurt is different though, not like a regular bad day.
I give you my future apologies for what the pain makes me say.
I say I still love you but what I really mean is..
I hope your life gets ruined the same way you did me in..
And that's the pain speaking, I know I can be so rude.
I'd tell the pain to stop speaking if it all wasn't so true.
So, I've decided to follow my dreams..Now what??
For those who don't know me, and even for those who do.. let me give you some background..
I was born to write. It's in my DNA, litterly. My dad was a writer. I used to get mad at my mom when I was two because she would read to me every night and I couldn't read the stories like she did. At three I had mastered memorizing any book she would read to me so that I could read it with her on the next occasion. At four, I wrote my first poem..It was about the stars. I was hooked, I was in love, this was destiny at it's finest.
I can't begin to express to you the love and the passion I have for my craft. It's not a hobby. It's a component to my soul. I am one of those people who burry their inner feelings deep down. Although I am great with listening to other people vent their life's frustrations, I am not so great at verbally expressing mine. Writing has been my therapy ever since the beginning of my memories. When you can visually see how you feel on the inside come through on the outside it captures an undeniable sense of reality. When I write how I feel I know that at that point it's real.
With that being said, this is day one of me "following my dreams." Even though I always knew I had this great talent and passion, I didn't always..still don't..know what to do with it. All I know is there are other people who can draw inspiration from my words as I have gathered inspiration from others' words. Relating to someone who has shared/does share the same true inner feelings as you cannot be faked. I want people to read something I wrote and feel a tug on their heart strings. I want someone to read something I wrote and say, "Wow, she's been there. Other people have felt like how I feel right now."
I don't know where this blog will take me, or my readers, but I do know that it's going somewhere great because it's coming from somewhere real. If you are someone who thrives off the truth, and even some self-discovery, we will get along just fine. Day one.
"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer. This notion rested soley on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker
I was born to write. It's in my DNA, litterly. My dad was a writer. I used to get mad at my mom when I was two because she would read to me every night and I couldn't read the stories like she did. At three I had mastered memorizing any book she would read to me so that I could read it with her on the next occasion. At four, I wrote my first poem..It was about the stars. I was hooked, I was in love, this was destiny at it's finest.
I can't begin to express to you the love and the passion I have for my craft. It's not a hobby. It's a component to my soul. I am one of those people who burry their inner feelings deep down. Although I am great with listening to other people vent their life's frustrations, I am not so great at verbally expressing mine. Writing has been my therapy ever since the beginning of my memories. When you can visually see how you feel on the inside come through on the outside it captures an undeniable sense of reality. When I write how I feel I know that at that point it's real.
With that being said, this is day one of me "following my dreams." Even though I always knew I had this great talent and passion, I didn't always..still don't..know what to do with it. All I know is there are other people who can draw inspiration from my words as I have gathered inspiration from others' words. Relating to someone who has shared/does share the same true inner feelings as you cannot be faked. I want people to read something I wrote and feel a tug on their heart strings. I want someone to read something I wrote and say, "Wow, she's been there. Other people have felt like how I feel right now."
I don't know where this blog will take me, or my readers, but I do know that it's going somewhere great because it's coming from somewhere real. If you are someone who thrives off the truth, and even some self-discovery, we will get along just fine. Day one.
"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer. This notion rested soley on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment